I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
