I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize