How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
