that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
