susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
