New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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