Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
now i know why i became what i already was.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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