I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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