You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
