we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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