SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
