you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
