Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
