No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's never too late to be topless.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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