we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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