were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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