i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
