I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
