but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
