Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
