go do what you do best...puke behind churches
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
