if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
