Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it hurts more in the daytime
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
