you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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