I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
