So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
