the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Is it because I queefed?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
