I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
