And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
