He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize