The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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