Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i out mim tonsoeep
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