Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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