well I can't set my house on fire every night
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
