I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
