he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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