Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
