3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize