i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
