What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
