He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
do nipples grow back?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
