I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
