Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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