Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
