why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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