Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize