I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
