Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
