problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize