Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
