I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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