i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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