i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
nutella sex= disaster
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
