i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize