I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
operation have a gay friend backfired
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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