Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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