Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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