Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
