Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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