Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
