do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
