Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
