i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
