nut hugger
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
