In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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