i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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