I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
