Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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