I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize