Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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