i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Randomize
