He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize