the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just pee around me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
