1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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