By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
