she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize