im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
