he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
