You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
