My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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